Tough Mudder!!!

Hello dear readers. Many have requested the details of my wonderfully agonizing day of mud, pain, and fun. I apologize for not being pithy in my review but I wanted to journal the details for my own memory bank and allow you to experience it with me.

For those who are unfamiliar with the "Tough Mudder" it is a 12 mile mud run filled with 20 or so military obstacles. It is meant to push your limits physically and mentally. "Why?" might you ask "would you pay to get your ass kicked in mud?" It's a valid question. The proceeds benefit the Wounded Warrior Project, an incredibly deserving cause. I didn't realize this until recently, but I'm attracted to events that cause a healthy dose of adrenaline and fear. I love challenging myself and pushing limits. I'm also conscientious of every dollar I spend on a race and this particular one does not allow a refund, or transfer, so even though I was scared, backing out was not an option.

I was originally signed up as an individual, but I realized I needed a team of some sort to even make it through some of the obstacles. I joined up with a large group of coworkers from BlendTec.  The race was held out in Tooele at the Millers Motorcross arena (acres and acres of mud, cow poo, and obstacles). Waves began at 8:00 and sent groups out every 20 min. until 11:40. Our group started at 10:20. I was hoping the later start would bring warmer weather, but no, there would be no warmth today. When we arrived, the moment I stepped out the door I was cold. The wind was blowing rather hard but there was so much excitement in the air! This was a different crowd from the Dirty Dash. Instead of cute costumes and matching socks, there was Braveheart war paint, military camo, and mohawks.  After signing my death waver, I shed my sweatshirt and climbed over a wall to get to the starting line with my group. One of my favorite parts of the day was the pep rally they did before unleashing us to the course. They had loud music playing and a man who looked like Mekhi Phifer leading the group with a "hands up in the air" jiggedy jig. There were a lot of BOOYAH's and fist pumps and a "repeat after me" Mudder pledge: (It's written on the back of my shirt)

"I UNDERSTAND THAT TOUGH MUDDER IS NOT A RACE BUT A CHALLENGE"
"I PUT TEAMWORK AND CAMARADERIE BEFORE MY COURSE TIME"
"I DO NOT WHINE, KIDS WHINE"
"I HELP MY FELLOW MUDDERS COMPLETE THE COURSE"
"I OVERCOME ALL FEARS"

Then they played the national anthem, and everyone took a knee. We were reminded of why we were there, to support and give respect to the men and women who fight for our country at often a great price to them and their families. The servicemen and veterans who were present were honored, there were many of them racing the course, even a few wounded vets. I am incredibly patriotic and appreciated the respect shown to our military.

On to the race. They refer to the start of the race as the "Braveheart Charge." I call it the last time you are dry. Before you hit mile one, you go through two obstacles. The first is the "kiss of mud," meaning: crawling under barbed wire in mud as they nail you with a fire hose. The next obstacle was the one I most feared, jumping in a dumpster full of ice water and swimming under water to get out on the other side. You couldn't think about it, you had to do it and get out fast or you'll freeze and go to crazyland. It literally knocked the wind out of me. After I got out, the air actually felt warmer, and adrenaline got my legs moving. Great! I just got through the worst obstacle... again, I was wrong.

I don't recall the order of the obstacles, but I'll just highlight a few. There was a nice rotation between military crawling through or under something unpleasant, going up and down mud hills, climbing over huge walls, most of which have no rope, grip or ladder and require the assistance of a team, and always some water pit waiting for you to fall into. I was feeling pretty good until I reached the worst obstacle: "shocks on the rocks." I was wondering as I approached it why there was such a large gathering of spectators laughing and gawking. Well, it's because electrocution is apparently very entertaining. You could hear the popping and zapping of the electric wires sending a nice shock of 10,000 volts into people as they yell out in pain. To ensure optimal pain levels, you were required to military crawl (p.s. that means arms only, no knees) through thick mud, under barbed wire (so you couldn't escape the torture) with hundreds, (it had to be hundreds, it was relentless) of electric wires hanging down and shocking the hell out of you the entire time. You can't just lay there in pain or you keep getting shocked, you have to keep crawling out of it. I later met a girl that was actually knocked out and had to get pulled out. CRAZY RIGHT?! Note to self, I don't rather enjoy being electrocuted.

My favorite obstacle was fun. It was like Dirty Dash on steroids. They called it the  "mud mile" basically rolling hills of pudding like mud with pools of muddy water in between and bodies slipping and sliding everywhere. There was a lot of camaraderie on the course with complete strangers working together to complete these obstacles (remember, Mekhi Phifer made us pledge to do that). At one point I remember helping a guy I didn't know and was pushing his butt over a hill. I apologized for the temporary violation and he just said "hey don't worry about it, I kind of like it." Hey random dude, thanks for making it creepy.

The amusing part of the race was the long muddy lines for the Port O Potty's along the course. Amusing because you are so covered in mud that the only thing that's white are your eyeballs. There was so much mud in the stall it looked like crime scene. The girls on my team know my policy for bathroom breaks on mudder courses...we'll leave it there.

A few other obstacles; carrying a huge log with your team, carrying a huge person on your back,  attempting to cross monkey bars and falling in the frigid waters below, running up a quarter pipe, and climbing a 15 or 20 ft. platform and jumping off at the top into again, muddy water. I had so much mud on my body I dropped like a tank into that water and it took a second or two to even surface. I managed to jog between the obstacles to stay warm, but when we passed the 10 mile sign twice (they put two of them out there to mess with your head) it started to get tough. As I approached the finish I was shaking with cold (we just did the platform jump), and I knew what awaited me, more electrocution. This time you could run through it while jumping over some hay bales. I hesitated with fear, but I remembered my pre-game chant to "overcome my fears" plus I could see food and warmth on the other side. Some girl wanted to link up arms and run through and I politely declined, the last thing I needed was someone connected to me in case things went bad. I took off and halfway through I got lit up like a Christmas tree and dropped to the ground. At least the wires couldn't touch me on the ground. I just laid there for a second and a spectator asked if I was okay, all I could say was "that freakin' hurt." I crawled my way out to the glorious finish where they crowned me with my orange mudder headband. VICTORIOUS!

I'm not sure how long we took, 4+ hours, it didn't matter. I couldn't wait to put dry clothes on and sit in a warm van. I had some pains here and there but didn't know the extent of my war wounds til I got home. I looked like someone hung me upside down like a pinata and beat the crap out of me. I've never been so black and blue and purple all over. My forearms from all of the crawling are amazingly bruised and I pulled a muscle in my abs. My husband was concerned people at church would think he was a wife beater...I got a few stares.

Overall, I'm so glad I did it, I really enjoyed most of it, and I think I would do it again...maybe I hit my head a little too hard. Now, I just need to motivate my team to do it with me! Thank you to my sponsors, especially Bearpaw for the much needed warmth and comfort my feet needed after this race, and to GU for creating the amazing vanilla GU that made me smile somewhere around mile 8.
Thank you to my team for their friendship and encouragement and thank you to my family, particularly my mother whom constantly keeps me on the prayer roll. She's the true warrior.